Fear

Fear

Fear mongering about "privacy and identity theft" is largely industry hype designed to break into your wallet. I am not saying that identity theft doesn't occur, but that it occurs in ways that aren't made safer by using software products sold to protect your privacy. Nor does it usually occur from your computer. Relax.  Here's all you need to do:


    a. Treat EVERY call or prompt to call a company that you do not initiate, as a scam. Hangup. If they pose as a financial institution, find the phone number yourself from the company website, not Google, not your caller ID. If you are being made to feel anxious and it seems like an emergency, you are moments from being scammed. Hang up. Continue your day.
    b. Give out your personal information as little as possible online. (this is key)
    c. Learn how people voluntarily give their identity away.
    d. Setup your credit or debit card to send you a text for every transaction.  
    e. Make sure your anti-virus and firewall is current and effective (see above).

Backups

Backups

To avoid the lonely, disabling pain and regret that accompanies the loss of computer data, family pictures, emails, school work, you MUST BACK UP, NOW!!!. ALL mechanical hard drives eventually fail, SSD drives much less. So will yours, usually randomly and arbitrarily, and (in our modern world of making everything as crappy as possible,) much sooner than you'll expect. I see this many times a month.

Think of it this way. If you spend the $55 for an automatic external backup drive or $85/yr to a cloud based service like Carbonite, then you are golden. You are smarter than the average bear! If you drop the computer, the hard drive fails, a ransomware virus encrypts all your files, the Windows 11 upgrade deletes your files, you spill tequila, it gets stolen, fried by a lightning strike, user account deleted by a mangled Norton update or your computer gets locked by a bogus tech support guy you let remotely log in, then you will still suffer a bit. But having that backup will make you feel really, really good about yourself.

I usually recommend Carbonite if you have more stuff than will fit in the free 2 GB Dropbox account. I do have one firm recommendation: avoid Microsoft OneDrive! It will be on your PC already. Do not encourage it, log into it, install it, or save anything to it. Office 365 will try and trick you into this, but if you take your time you can still find the option to save ONLY to your hard drive in the folders you choose. I would love to say how convenient OneDrive can be, giving you default cloud backup while you are using Word and Excel. But I can’t. I often get to people’s computer and they ask me to find their missing Word documents for them. OneDrive is an aggressive, buggy, confusing, unintuitive, piece of crap. And it is impossible for the average user to become disentangled from it once you give it control. You should always be seeking to become less beholden to Microsoft, whenever possible.

Having a backup can be easier than you think. There are many different options depending on how much stuff you got. I can help you figure this out and bring you into a state of total relaxation on the subject.

Remember, whatever backup you chose, you must have duplication. You must have two of whatever you are backing up. One on one device, and the copy on another device or in the cloud. If you save all your love poems only to your flash drive and then leave it at The Coffee Cavern because you were absent minded after a good yoga class, you have not made a backup.

Microsoft Harm Reduction

Microsoft Harm Reduction

When Windows 7 came out I told my customers that Windows could be problematic but would serve them mostly well as long as they installed a good anti-virus. But with Windows 8, 10, 11, Office 365, and the sadism of OneDrive and Windows Update, Microsoft has gone off the rails. Aside from becoming an unreliable partner, they seem to be more in the way than leading the way. I suggest you consider them as we did AOL and start limiting your exposure to their products and your chances for harassment and random suffering. Eventhough just under 90% of the world still uses Windows PCs, this post is to plant the seed that you deserve better.

The days of exciting new software upgrades are long gone.  The best software does this: work smoothly and not be a pain in your ass. It should be invisible to you like your steering wheel.  

The dust and hype has settled and it turns out our computers only need to browse the net, play songs, gather an unmanageable amount of photos, watch movies, and send email.

Here is what I use, respectively: Google Chrome, iTunes, Google Photos, Media Player Classic or VLC player, and Gmail.

There is no rush here. I am presenting these suggestions as part of your long game. Not all of these strategies will be practical for everyone or easy to navigate. They are here because I believe that Microsoft’s trajectory will continue to make your life more complicated, not the less you should be seeking. Microsoft is an entity that hungers only for market share. If intuitive workflow and your routine get in the way, so what.

  1. When it comes to any Microsoft update or upgrade, if your computer works fine, don’t fix it. I promise you will only be left behind with the all those people whose computers still work. Wait until you are compelled to upgrade by something tangible, (like an evil step-mother forcing you or ISIS holding a family member hostage until you do, or maybe until “the power of Christ compels you”). An MS update will never make your computer run faster, usually the opposite.

Clutter and Bloating

Clutter and Bloating

This can be a real struggle if you have teenagers. Essentially, you want to keep all non-essentials off your computer.  Do not download any program that says it wants to help you, and no toolbars, no "helping" programs (remember, your life was just fine without them). I would avoid weather apps too. Watch out for games similar to solitaire. That kind of stuff can have extras. Be particularly wary of programs that tell you they will make your computer faster. They almost always come with some sort of hidden crap and viruses.  

Connexion

Connexion

Why wouldn’t you switch to Connexion?!
Well, what do you know! Now that Xfinity and Century-Link have competition they have decided to try and not be so despicable. Remember how we were treated when they had us right where they wanted us, with no alternatives? And don’t forget all those good times when Century-Link was Qwest and Xfinity was Comcast. I have assembled some of their Greatest Hits!

  • Ever been told by a recording to find help and options online when your internet doesn’t work?

  • Have you ever been left on hold forever, and then disconnected?

  • Does your price of internet seem arbitrary and you’ve hoped you got someone on the phone who gave you a good promotion that year?

  • Ever discover that your neighbor was paying $40/mo less for the same plan that you have?

  • Have you opened your bill and discovered expensive surprises?

  • Have you ever marveled at how many times you could be transferred to the wrong dept.?

Printers

Printers

My advice?
Buy any brand BUT HP.

What is the deal with HP? Were they forced to turn over management of their printer department to Somali pirates? Does anyone remember when you used to install a printer from a DVD? That process with HP and only HP, used to often take a mindblowing 30 mins! Where did they get off? Now they have a “HP SMART” app you will be coerced into using for printer installation, if you can get it to work. What a joke! Like Microsoft, they write bloated, buggy software, and the printers do the same stupid, annoying crap — duplicating themselves, not uninstalling, not installing with reasonable effort, not deleting print jobs, falling off the network — like I have seen them do for 20 years. Do their programmers live in the same cave with the hideous, pale, Microsoft geeks, writing programs without ever coming out into the sun to use the programs or printers themselves?

It is not uncommon for me lately to spend an hour trying to install an HP printer.

Here’s something extra cynical: I helped a customer in Jan. 2023 install a new printer HP had just sent her to replace the exact same model that she bought a couple months ago that failed.

Buying a New Computer

Buying a New Computer

You can get a "deal" on a new $300-$400 computer, but you may soon start to feel a gnawing sense of regret centered in your gut chakra - the chakra that longs for curious bargains. Those computers will either have a slow processor, a mechanical (not an SSD drive), or some other disability. 

For instance, Best Buy has been selling Macbooks for under $800. OMG that’s a great deal!
Nope.

Those Macbook great deals all have 8GB of memory. For at least two years I have been only recommending new computers to my customers with at least 16GB of RAM. If you tend to have more than a few Chrome or Firefox tabs open you are already using up your 8GB of RAM memory.
That’s why 8GB RAM Macbooks are on sale. Because that memory is now soldered on the motherboard and can’t be upgraded. So instead of getting the 7 or more years you used to expect from a Macbook, your deal from BestBuy will get you 3ish.

I can help you avoid these attempted robberies.

Upgrades

Upgrades

If you frivolously upgrade software you are tempting fate. Upgrade only if you are compelled to do so, or if the company is less stupid like Google or Apple. Your antivirus upgrade is also fine, as long as it is free. You never need to pay for an antivirus that you can use for free. You do NOT need to be protected even more. Essentially, if it ain't broken don't fix it. Software updates are sometimes worse than the older one. It happens all the time. This is especially true of Microsoft operating systems. When a new one comes out, wait at least 2 years and then search online reviews of the operating system to make sure they haven't released another multi-million dollar loser, or call and ask me. Wow, I just realized that Windows 10 became popular in Early 2016. In the last year it seems mostly stable now, and Windows 11 seems a little better, so far. Microsoft updates are still more of a liability than a necessity in my experience.

If you did upgrade to Windows 10 and everything seems ok, I suggest you still backup any important data. Approach Windows 10 like you don’t really trust it with your important files.

In 2023, I am finally recommending you upgrade from trusty Windows 7.

Privacy

Privacy

Privacy - The Edward Snowden leaks about the NSA confirm that we have none. Nothing you do on the internet should be considered private, period.  At some point in the near future ISP’s and others will probably start making encryption software available that is easy enough to use for the average person. Until then assume that anything you communicate through the internet may someday be released by someone disgruntled.
A possible scenario is that a hacker or a government worker will release a large amount of illegally collected personal emails to make a point about how much info the government actually collects on it’s citizens. It may happen, because that is the only thing that will make the seriousness of the issue real for the average law abiding citizen who thinks they have no reason to worry if they are not breaking the law.  

If you really want to communicate secretly, some people use Signal or other encrypted apps and set their messages to disappear after a day. I can’t guarantee that saves you if you committed murder or if Saudi Arabia hates you, but it is probably secure enough for secret love or melodrama.

To become fully sober on the topic of how YOU, in fact, are the online product being sold, watch the movie the Social Dilemma.

My friend Zeke wrote a great post about simple ways to protect your privacy.

Service Plans

Service Plans

Extended service plans from companies like Best Buy, Staples, etc., are mostly a misrepresentation and a scam.  Here's how it works. The salesman will promise that your extended service plan will do everything including cook dinner for you when you grow old, just to get you to buy it.  Whatever service scenario you propose, he'll swear it is covered. They know you want to believe him so you don't have to read the legal document that is the extended warranty. A year later when you bring your computer in, you will find that the guy no longer works there (he's now working at the T-Mobile kiosk at the mall) and everything he promised including stuff that reasonably should be covered is not. They will show you where it says so in the small print. If lightening strikes and your problem is actually covered then you'll receive the exhilarating experience of having your computer "fixed" by the Geek Squad.  Look their reputation up online and experience a community of people besides themselves with contempt. Are there some honest people at these companies? Not if they try and sell you a service plan.

Browsers

Browsers

Browsers -are the programs that allow you to interface with the internet.  The most common are Safari, Firefox and Chrome. Avoid Microsoft Edge as part on your ongoing goal of harm reduction. It’s just another product that Microsoft is phoning in to try and keep you normalized to their cynical business plan.  I recommend installing a couple (there are more to try). It just takes a few minutes. The reason to do this is because as web developers build new websites they also have to make sure that the content shows up and works correctly on all the major browsers.  Sometimes they don't succeed. I prefer Chrome or Firefox. Do some research. Do not try to uninstall Microsoft Edge. That is FORBIDDEN by your computer and meant to create problems if you try. Don’t be afraid to jump ship if any browser you are using becomes annoying.

Apple Macs

Apple Macs

Macs - A quick word on Apple, Mac computers. Yes, they are expensive. A Windows PC that will be viable for the next 5-7 years will cost around $700. A 14 inch Macbook Pro with 16GB of RAM and a 512GB SSD Drive (my recommended specs for any new computer) is at least $1600. It depends on how you use your computer. Most of us are just putzing around. What you get in a Mac is sturdiness, reliability, the best support number of all consumer products, a power cord that isn’t made to snap off, and years of unremarkable usage. New Macs are however, no longer upgradable with memory and hard drive space, so that is totally stupid and unredeemable. The next time you bring me your computer for virus removal, an annoying printer install, or when Windows updates go wrong, ask, and I'll give you my Mac rap.
Don’t take this as me saying that I think we should break up!

SSD Drives

SSD Drives

Buy no new computer with anything other than an SSD or M2 drive for storage.

The most valuable upgrade to come to consumer computing since I started business in 2000 are solid state drives. They are essentially a usb thumb drive, or flash drive shaped to look like the hard drive in your computer. Old drives consisted of magnetic spinning disks and a quickly moving laser arm to read them. Solid state drives are just circuit boards with no moving parts. They are so much faster than your old hard drive that you can put them into 3-5 yr old computers and make them run, in most cases, better than a new computer with a mechanical drive.

If after 2016 someone tries to sell you a computer without an SSD drive, look them in the eye and say, "why do you hate me?"

If your new Windows 11 computer does not come with an SSD hard drive it is like they are selling you a car with a carburetor, a 3 cylinder engine, and tires made of gummy bears.

Keep Your Money

Keep Your Money

In an effort to compete in the marketplace (rip you off), ISPs are trying to squeeze as much out of their customers as they can with irregular pricing or selling you 1 BILLION Mbps of SPEED. The average household of 3-5 people won’t ever need more than 50Mbps of speed, or likely 30Mbps. If your internet is slow (with you laptop sitting right beside the wifi modem), it’s always because they are screwing you, not because you aren’t paying enough. You should check your bill regularly and make sure there aren't any "mistakes." You will be over charged whenever the sales person feels it appropriate. You may want to call and ask exactly what you are paying for on occasion. Is the charge necessary and can it be cheaper? Just keep checking their online deals, do your homework, play dumb and let them make it worth your while (considering how many commercials you have to watch and how much of your usage data they sell to marketers and undesirables). I would say a good deal for just internet from Comcast is $40/mo. $50 is average. If it is that good, try and get into a contract if you aren’t moving. If your internet isn’t really slow with Century Link, then that $40/mo is good. I will call them one night and if I don’t get a good deal try them in week or two. Their pricing is like prices in the hospital — whatever they can get away with.

Call at least once a year and ask, "how can my bill cheaper?" Do not get any internet plan that is slower than 25 Mbps (mega-bits per second).

This goes for every service you have: car insurance, health care, cell phone service, internet, everything you pay yearly for. The bean counters keep all the prices vague and fluid so they can increase their SPQ (screwed per quarter). Unfortunately, the more vigilant you are in distrusting these companies, the more you tend to save.

Teenagers

Teenagers

I am not talking about your teenage son, but if some other teenagers are sharing your computer you should virus-protect that computer like it is the shared computer in the prison library. You can't stop the sun from rising, but you can wear sunscreen. Better yet, give them your old computer and buy one that only you use.  Also, installing more than one anti-virus causes problems. Just use one good one.

Antivirus

Antivirus

Anti-virus - You cannot just use any anti-virus program.  You must use the best at the time, and what is "the best" changes from time to time. You don't have to surf like a teenage boy to get viruses. No anti-virus prevents all viruses, but from year to year your goal is to install the one that is most effective that year.  The efficacy of these programs varies wildly, and some are even viruses themselves. Knowing someone who removes viruses all day long like myself or other reputable local computer repair people is the best way to keep current and stay protected. Do not trust Best Buy, Comcast, Century Link etc.  They strike huge partnership deals with large companies like Norton and Mcafee. Everyone makes money and you get a bogus program -- for free. Then you have to pay me to clean your computer later.

If anyone recommends Mcafee or Norton/Symantec write those people off as suspicious or confused. I could spend pages telling you all the ways these programs can screw up your computer. Suffice it to say this, these programs are bloated, slow, expensive, and get this, DON'T REMOVE THE VIRUSES!

Geek Squad

Geek Squad

The 3-card Monte players of the computer repair world. The stories I hear from my customers tell it all.  The wild prices and ludicrous lines of bull they are serving up make them THE service to avoid. You will suffer less personal indignity and loss of income going to ANYONE but them.

… I picture the Geek Squad people taking your computer into the back and then spinning a big wheel with bogus diagnoses on it to see what they are gonna tell you.

Scumbags

Scumbags

Short version: 

Any “tech support” that you are inspired to call from an ominous warning on your computer is bogus. Any ominous calls you receive that scare you about your computer are bogus. Never let anyone remotely connect to your computer! If you did not specifically go to the company website, (dell.com HP.com xfinity.com etc.) and find a tech support number directly on that website, then you are talking to fake tech support. You will have your confirmation once they ask you for money. Don’t wait for that proof until after you have already let them remotely connect to your computer. If you have given your card number and paid one of these scam companies, call your credit card company and ask to start the process of getting that money back. You almost always will. You have been a victim of fraud. Whether your fake support has actually fixed something or not is irrelevant, your initial introduction to them was fraudulent in one way or another.